Chris Dance writes...
The website of the comedy writer, playwright, speechwriter and ghostwriter Chris Dance.
First of all I'M STILL WORKING! Commission me to write stuff, I'll write it!
THE COVID-19 MONOLOGUES
Delighted to have been asked to write one of these for Elysium Theatre Company.
It's here: Push Yourself, Slightly
More news to follow, keep checking back...
I've always loved jokes. I write all of my own and I put them in articles, sketches, scripts and speeches. I love the language and the mechanics of comedy, I'm fascinated by what makes things funny. I craft my jokes like a glassblower might craft a latticello finial, only with less sweating and I don't tend to add a prunt.
If you need gags for a project, a ghostwriter for your book, something funny to publish, an original piece to perform or help polishing your stand-up set, give me a call.
I also write factual material for digital, print and spoken formats. Whether it's a website, programme, brochure or presentation, if you've got a blank page or a deafening silence I can help you fill it.
If you're a business and you're searching for the right words to reach your audience, I can help you find them. Tell me what it is you're trying to say and I’ll find the words that say it.
For the last few years I've been doing a lot of speechwriting. According to studies public speaking is one of our greatest fears. Even if you're comfortable standing up and doing it, writing the perfect speech can be a daunting task. Of course you could copy one from a book or borrow some material from a website, but it won't be personal and you'll just be telling the same old jokes that everyone's heard before. So why wouldn't you ask a professional for help? You'd pay an expert for lots of other things, so why not for the thing that's keeping you awake at night?
Maybe you've been asked to be a Best Man, deliver a mirthful eulogy at an old uncle's funeral or provide the after-dinner entertainment at a central heating convention in Basingstoke.
Whatever the occasion, whatever your experience, I can help you deliver the perfect speech. I'll work with you to come up with a speech that not only hits just the right note, but that sounds like you wrote it yourself.
Business speeches vary greatly in cost, so please get in touch to agree a fee with me.
A full wedding speech will cost you £250. That covers as many drafts as it takes to get your speech sounding exactly as you want it to. You send me your information and anecdotes, I weave them into a speech and then we tinker with it until it's just right. I'm only a phone call away if you have any queries and I'll guide you right through the process. I'll also give you some tips for delivering the speech and dealing with nerves, if that would help.
Let me take care of your speech and watch all that stress fly away, like a pretty bluebird disappearing over a rainbow, or something like that. That's got to be worth a few quid.
"Chris was excellent! A great help over the phone to chat things through initially and nothing else was too much trouble. He helped me with a Groom’s and Best Man’s speech and both went down a storm! I'd be sure to use him again!" GB, Northern Ireland
“Chris put together a brilliant speech for my presentation with just a few days to spare. Highly recommended.” Sara, London
“People are still talking about my wedding speech months later. I didn’t know where to start but Chris made sense of my notes and wrote me the perfect speech - he found all the words I’d wanted to say.” Martin, Kent
“Worth every penny for the quality of the speech and the stress it saved me!” David, Ayr
“Chris’s after-dinner speech was so funny I had to stop and compose myself twice while delivering it!” KF, Lincoln
For comedy & content firstname.lastname@example.org
For a chat
07966 548 983
© 2020 Chris Dance