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Chris Dance writes...

The website of the comedy writer, playwright and speechwriter Chris Dance.





Still here writing scripts, speeches, articles...if you need words I've got loads of them here. Give me a call...


MAY 2022

Here's some lovely feedback I've just had from a very happy newly-wed...


"Just to let you know the speech went down an absolute storm!! Lots of laughs and so many people came up to me after saying it was one of the best speeches they've heard. 


Thank you so much for taking away the stress of that and writing the perfect speech."


Let me take away your stress and write you the perfect here for more info...



The award winning


Enjoyed writing one of these for Elysium Theatre Company, and delighted that The Covid-19 Monologues won an Olwen Wymark Award from the Writers Guild of Great Britain.  Watch them all here.

"...very funny and features a

fine performance."


Full review here...


to Comedy
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I've always loved jokes.  I write all of my own and I put them in articles, sketches, scripts and speeches.  I love the language and the mechanics of comedy, I'm fascinated by what makes things funny.  I craft my jokes like a glassblower might craft a latticello finial, only with less sweating and I don't tend to add a prunt. 

If you need gags for a project, a ghostwriter for your book, something funny to publish, an original piece to perform or help polishing your stand-up set, give me a call. 


Being versatile I also write unfunny copy for digital, print and spoken formats.  Whether it's a website, programme, brochure or presentation, if you've got a blank page or a deafening silence I can help you fill it. 


If you're a business and you're searching for the right words to reach your audience, I can help you find them.  Tell me what it is you're trying to say and I’ll find the words that say it.


to Speeches

"Chris was excellent! A great help over the phone to chat things through initially and nothing else was too much trouble. He helped me with a Groom’s and Best Man’s speech and both went down a storm! I'd be sure to use him again!"  GB, Northern Ireland

“Chris put together a brilliant speech for my presentation with just a few days to spare. Highly recommended.”  Sara, London   

“People are still talking about my wedding speech months later.  I didn’t know where to start but Chris made sense of my notes and wrote me the perfect speech - he found all the words I’d wanted to say.” Martin, Kent

“Worth every penny for the quality of the speech and the stress it saved me!”  David, Ayr

“Chris’s after-dinner speech was so funny I had to stop and compose myself twice while delivering it!” KF, Lincoln


Business Presentations

After Dinners

Special Events

According to studies public speaking is one of our greatest fears.  Even if you're comfortable standing up and doing it, writing the perfect speech can be a daunting task.  Of course you could copy one from a book or borrow some material from a website, but it won't be personal and you'll just be telling the same old jokes that everyone's heard before.  So why wouldn't you ask a professional for help? You'd pay an expert for lots of other things, so why not for the thing that's keeping you awake at night? 


Maybe you've been asked to be a Best Man, deliver a mirthful eulogy at an old uncle's funeral or provide the after-dinner entertainment at a central heating convention in Basingstoke.  


Whatever the occasion, whatever your experience, I can help you deliver the perfect speech.  I'll work with you to come up with a speech that not only hits just the right note, but that sounds like you wrote it yourself.


Get in touch to discuss your corporate speech needs, or click here for details of my Wedding Speech services...

So stop worrying, let me take care of your speech and watch all that stress fly away, like a pretty bluebird disappearing over a rainbow, or something like that.  That's got to be worth a few quid. 



I can adopt any style or voice to produce autobiographical content or opinion pieces, and can also add some sparkle to work that’s lacking a bit of life.  I once helped an author liven up her self-help book by introducing comedic elements to her pages of practical advice. 



I’m able to quickly inject warmth and humour into the driest speech or presentation, to make it bigger, better and brighter, and to ensure that it is accessible, understood and enjoyed by a specific audience. 


Sometimes it’s useful to seek objective feedback on a project, to make sure that you’re communicating in the most effective way.  I worked with a local school on restructuring and rewriting their website to give it a consistency of tone and style, to make it better reflect the school’s approach and values, and to make it accessible and useful to the whole school community.  If you’re stuck with a project, talk to me about it and I’ll use my expertise to help you find the best ways and platforms to get your message across.


to Contact

For comedy & other content

For speeches


For a chat

07966 548 983

© 2020 Chris Dance

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